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Some of you have seen the video already, since I posted it immediately on Facebook. Alexis rolling over was such a huge thing for us this week, and to catch it on video was tremendous! I'm sorry Ivan wasn't there, but seeing it on video was the next best thing. She has not, incidentally, repeated the event.
So I was listening to the radio this morning, catching snippets here and there in between baby gurgles and raspberries. Some of you may be familiar with the story, I was not. A Winnipeg mom was convicted of Manslaughter yesterday in the death of her infant son: a triplet.
I only heard the 911 call and then a few details which caused me to break down into tears. I looked down at my girls, then wondered what about the story was affecting me so profoundly. Obviously the mere thought of an infant death is upsetting, but there was something more. I realized that I knew the thoughts that she had thought. I knew them because I have had them myself. I'd stood in the spot where she had moments before she made the decision to do what she did, but I'd had the presence of mind to shrug the impulse off and change gears. Thank God.
See the thing is, it's only happened once or twice. And not since they were really little. There are moments where there is only shear exhaustion, when there is only screaming and an almost animal-like instinct kicks in. It's the fight-or-flight response, no doubt. Your heart is racing, your airway is constricted, muscles tensed for action. But most of us have the presence of mind, somewhere in the midst of a desperate situation, to recognize it for what it is. We're told about this in pre-natal class, in the parenting books. Presumably this is because enough children have died or been injured because somehow, a parent's coping mechanism quits. Shaken baby syndrome is a syndrome because it's happened to enough babies to require a label.
It doesn't happen anymore. I can sit through some pretty good crying episodes and sometimes even laugh at how funny the situation is. In fact, I'm pretty sure I haven't wanted to leap out of my skin in a good long while. Once or twice I've wanted to cry, but that's fairly benign. What's the worst that could happen? The poor delivery man or whom ever comes knocking might leave bewildered by such a scene. But at least everyone is safe.
But triplets. Wow. See, a Twin Mom can say that and know just how much harder it would be to have one more baby. I have two arms, two breasts, two parents even. No, I don't know what it would be like, I can only imagine. But I can imagine it well enough to feel like I could have stood in that woman's shoes. I feel like I know exactly what she was feeling. And it makes me cry for her to almost be able to touch the grief that she will feel for the rest of her life. She knows that if she had only had the restraint to leave the impulse as a thought, her life and the tender life of her son would be so different.
The other side of this is that multiples are becoming more and more common. With so many of us requiring the assistance of medical technology to become pregnant, more and more multiple births result. I once thought that we might even have to begin consulting a fertility specialist. I worry a little bit for the children. I was very concerned when the public health nurse wouldn't leave us alone for the first two months of our girls' lives. But I can see why they came as often as they did. It's hard to care for one baby. It's really hard to care for two, and so on and so on.
I wanted to explore my feelings about what I had heard today. I just didn't know how I felt about it, or where those feelings that I was having came from. So, thanks for the indulgence, and please don't worry. Ivan and I knew from the beginning that we would have those moments. We were prepared and knew how to deal with them. We also knew how to recognize the moment in one another when it was time to step in and take over. Maybe education is the key in preventing further tragedies. Have a great weekend all.
After much thought and discussion, we decided that the girls were ready to try cereal. It wasn't an easy decisision; I suppose there aren't many easy decisions in parenting. The girls had gone from waking only once during the night to as much as 3 or 4 times and they were always ravenous when they did wake. During the day they seemed to get enough, but our supper plates were starting to generate interest to them. They are able to sit quite well in their chairs, and so it seemed time to give it a shot.
I make up a bowl with 1 tsp of rice cereal (the least allergenic of the lot) and add enough water to make a very runny gruel. I could use breast milk but we've still got thrush issues, and I could use formula, but the waste generated from mixing up a batch of formula would be very costly, so for now we use water. Sometimes the girls will take it, and sometimes not. I never force the issue and as soon as there are grumpy faces, we end the session. (Mathilde didn't last too much longer after the video was taken). I'll put off introducing other foods until 6 months, but for now the starving baby episodes have been drastically reduced and we're all getting more sleep! An unfortunate side effect of the introduction of solids are the bi-products that it produces. Alas, more of the ever-so-unpopular poopy diapers.
What else can I say about this week? The girls have been traveling around in their cribs a great deal. This started for both of them on the same day, which I think is weird. Yeah, I get that they are twins, but it's still odd that they should do the same thing on the same day. Often I will find them having rotated a complete 180deg from their put-down position. They use their legs and hips to sort of scoot around. They almost roll over from back to front, but still need a little extra boost. I think it comes down to incentive. I just have to find the right thing to reach for.
Their smiles are the absolute best. In the morning I am guaranteed huge baby grins when I go in to pick them up. Hands down, this is the best part of the day. Mathilde immediately cuddles her head into my neck when I pick her up and I just about melt. She is pretty much the ham. I took the girls on my own to the mall the other day, and every stranger who bent in to look at the girls was treated to a Tilly smile. For some reason she has taken to sticking her tongue out and smiling when she greets you. It's disarmingly funny. To be fair, Alexis has some super-charged mega-watt smiles as well. She just likes to make you earn them. She will also giggle at you which is the cutest thing in the entire world. I am not being biased here, it really is the cutest thing in the world.
So, as you can tell, things are going very well. We have our moments. There are times when they are crying that I feel like I want to cry too. There are certainly times where I just don't know that their needs are and I sort of look at them like the aliens that they sort of are. Sometimes I look at them and I think, "I gave you life? We gave you life? You came from us. Amazing!" I'm glad we waited to have children. I think it's nice that we got ourselves out of our way so that we can concentrate on these guys, because they are by far the best thing we ever did. How did we get so lucky? Two beautiful, happy, healthy babies and they came to us. It's astonishing. You can bet that I count my blessings every single day. Have a great weekend guys.
I predicted that by the end of the week the girls would have perfected the art of getting anything and everything into their mouths. And I was right. This was pretty funny and exciting at first, until I stopped paying attention to Alexis the other day when she was on my lap at the dinner table and she got a mitt full of curry. We caught her before she could get it into her mouth, but let's just say "Game on!" We need to be on our toes now.
The girls are getting really fun to be with. They are very engaging and smile and laugh at you. Also they love to engage you in a "conversation", and once I caught them during nap time talking to one another from their cribs. So for the first time I got to say "Girls, stop talking and go to sleep!" I'm sure this was the first time of many to come. Last weekend we went to our friends' place for brunch. Alexis was thoroughly engaged with their 6 month daughter, Anna, and indeed gave us a chance to eat. It was a little shocking when I realized that I had not fussed with her for quite a while and saw what the reason for that was. She was in a baby chair, and Anna in her exersaucer and they were babbling back and forth. Amazing.
We're happy to be firmly entrenched in our long weekend. It's nice to have Ivan home during the day for a longer stretch. We're getting a few things done around the house, and I have more time to spend with each girl individually. I told Ivan the other day that if I could have anything in the world right now, it would be a day with each girl, where I could just hold her and focus my whole self on her. Maybe I'll be able to do that someday, but for now, especially while I'm nursing, that's simply impossible.
Speaking of nursing.... Ugh, after two treatments of gentian violet, we are still battling this darn thrush infection. I've about given up with it. Maybe it'll go away on it's own? No, we'll have to get back in to see the Dr. It's so frustrating! Also, I've bought some rice cereal, but we haven't cracked it open yet. I'm waiting for the girls to show me that they're ready. Alexis, is going to be ready before Mathilde, I'm certain. We practice drinking water from a cup, and Lexi's pretty well got it, but Tilly still has the reflex where babies push all foreign objects out of their mouths with their tongues. (this is thought to keep them from choking). Also, Lexi eyeballs our dinner plates like she'd devour their contents if she could just get off of Papa's lap! Part of me would love to try her on it tonight, but the other part of me knows that it's still a bit early. I'll be sure to ask the Dr when we are in to see him next.
Well, we wish we could be with family over Easter, but we're lucky enough to have friends that we can spend it with. Tomorrow we'll have a ham dinner and the girls can play with their friends Anna and Maria. We're also doing our first family Easter Bunny Cake. The girls will have to wait until next year to taste it though!
Happy Easter everyone, we'll be thinking of you all.
It's true! We really do hate Thursdays, well Thursday nights anyway. For whatever reason, any good sleep habits developed throughout the week are out the window come Thursday night. Why oh why?! Maybe it's because we come to expect a sleepless night, and somehow set ourselves up for failure during the day time? Whatever the reason, Thursday nights are the generally the worst and Fridays are always terrible days fraught with the inevitable exhaustion that follows a sleepless night. But enough about that. We are parents of infants and infants will cause sleepless nights. It's a certainty of life; better to just accept it!
This week passed quickly. Ivan was off on Monday and so we took advantage of the day to take care of the usual business that crops up. It's funny though, at the moment I couldn't tell you exactly what we did. My brain is so full of the things I need to remember to look after the girls that there is no room for unnecessary memories. Throughout the week though, I do remember that we had lots of walks up into the hill and then back down into the valley. Alexis and Mathilde do all right during the walks, but generally they hate having any sort of wind on their faces. We picked up a couple of sun hats for them and look forward to the warmer weather.
As the video shows, the girls are getting better at understanding what their hands are for. It means really having to watch out for your cups, plates or whatever is in front of you while you're holding them. We've been practicing drinking water from a cup this week. Alexis gets the idea, but Mathilde just lets it run out of her mouth. True, they used to drink formula from a small cup when first born, but that skill long ago disappeared and they're starting from scratch.
Well, I'm having a really hard time finding time to get this blog out, so I'm just going to sign off. I should have time to get a nice long entry done next Friday, since Ivan will be home for the Easter Weekend. I'll try to be creative with our video clip. All the best to you!
